Real TALK on REAL TALK radio

My latest radio interview on REAL TALK Radio

https://www.facebook.com/mytcntv/videos/1615923618533728/?timeline_context_item_type=intro_card_work&timeline_context_item_source=520910620

Penny Tremblay interviews Veronica Hislop on Imposter Syndrome

Do you ever feel like an imposter?

Like a fake or a fraud, and that people are going to find out? Apparently common, even among those we know as geniuses.

I meet many entrepreneurs who have fears and insecurities as they build their empires, price their services, and get behind their marketing and strategy.

If you struggle with an inner view of yourself, despite how you present yourself to the world, you’ll find some comfort and belonging knowing that you’re amongst 70% of the population that feels an imposter syndrome at some time.

I interviewed Veronica Hislop to shed some light on this limiting belief that stunts our potential. She explains the Imposter Syndrome and provides great tips and strategies on how to overcome it.

Veronica describes the imposter syndrome as a  core belief  we can hold  about ourselves that  where we can feel  inadequate, incompetent, and  feel like a  failure,  despite evidence that indicates  we are actually  skilled and successful.

What amazed me most is that even genius people like Albert Einstein and famous people like Maya Angelou admitted to thinking they were an imposter!

Here’s to your future authenticity. No imposter syndrome required.  Be fearless, be YOU and be rich!

Penny

Here’s the interview. Transcribed for reading below or as an audio file for a quick listen.  Your authentic self will thank you.

http://pennytremblay.com/2018/06/2028/

00:00

00:00

   

Penny: Well good morning everyone, it’s Penny Tremblay here, from the Tremblay Leadership Center and you know one of the things that I often hear, the undertone of what people talk to me about, in business and really showing up in their strong and confident and powerful self is fear. I met an amazing lady. Her name is Veronica Hislop and she is with a company called Em-Powered Solutions. She talked to me a little bit about this imposter syndrome and I got so excited because I thought, “That is definitely somebody I want to interview.”

Penny: So she’s here today. Welcome Veronica, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Veronica: Hi, good morning. Thank you for inviting me, and it’s a pleasure for me to speak with you. I’m, as you introduced me, Veronica Hislop of Em-Powered Solutions. I’m a woman’s empowerment strategist and I work with entrepreneurs, not only women but that’s my niche market, but working with entrepreneurs to help them to manage their stress, prioritize their needs and set healthy boundaries so that they can focus on their business, get clear, get focused, get grounded so that they can make massive success in their business. That’s essentially what I do.

Penny: That’s great, and I was so happy to meet you at the recent Toastmaster convention. So, what is the imposter syndrome?

Veronica: Well, let me just say that I met a lot of smart, intelligent people, you know, CEOs, executives and when I zero down and when we’re talking, what really comes up is this feeling of inadequacy, self-doubt, lack of confidence, and then when you go on a deeper level, interpersonal level, you really see that they’re struggling with their inner view of themselves which is very different from how their presenting to the outer world.

Veronica: So you really get a sense that what they’re struggling with is Imposter Syndrome. It’s the core belief that you are inadequate, that you’re incompetent, and that you’re a failure despite the evidence that indicates that you’re skilled and you’re successful. And essentially people feel it at their core that they are frauds and they are fakes and that people are gonna find out that that’s how they feel about themselves and that’s how they see themselves.

Veronica: This was something identified in the 70s by Pauline Clance, when she was doing research with women in academia, and then they began to expand their research but it wasn’t just a female issue, but it was an issue affecting a lot of people. And recently we’ve heard many people in the entertainment field, Tina Fey, Mike Meyers, Maya Angelou, I mean Nobel- no, yeah, she was a Nobel Prize winner. She talked about feeling like she was a fraud and that she was gonna be found out. That she wasn’t really as confident in herself as she presented to the world.

Veronica: Albert Einstein, and I’ll give you a quote, he said, “The exaggerated esteem in which my life work was held makes me very ill at ease, and I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.” Albert Einstein.

Veronica: So this is something that affects at least 70% of the population at some point in time.

Penny: So how does it affect female entrepreneurs? Or how does it affect entrepreneurs?

Veronica: Well, we question ourselves, we may self-sabotage, we lack confidence, we compare ourselves to others, it’s that negative, inner, critical bullying voice that says, “You can’t do that. You the hell do you think you are? You’re not good enough. Do you really think that you should be putting yourself out there?”

Veronica: All of that monkey mind crazy stuff that goes on in our brains.

Penny: And I’m laughing because not only does that so fit with me at times, but I know so many women who will be watching this who are in my circle, my network, and they’ll be saying, “Yes. Check mark, check mark, check mark, check mark. That’s me, that’s me.” And then they’ll be saying, “How do I get rid of it?”

Penny: So, give us a quick tip or a strategy, you know, an action.

Veronica: The first thing that you really have to get is very tough with yourself and begin to shift from that critic mindset and embrace that coaching paradigm. It’s a paradigm shift that you’ve gotta make in your head to shift from being a critic to being a coach. Your own personal coach. And the quicker you make that shift the more successful you’re going to be.

Veronica: So it’s moving from being very deconstructive, being negative and critical to being more constructive, more empowering, more positive in terms of your thinking. So not blaming yourself, taking responsibility, not being negative, being more positive, being more affirming. Being more compassionate and kind to yourself.

Veronica: Talking to yourself in more of an encouraging way than being discouraging. Not focusing on the fear. Shifting more to focusing on confidence. Not thinking, “I can’t,” but looking more in terms of “I can” and “I will, and not seeing things being awful and terrible and catastrophising, but more, “I’m okay.” You know, “I did good.” And not seeing things as being a challenge, but seeing things as being an adventure.

Veronica: And even a little bit of a game. Having fun with all of this and not taking ourselves so seriously. And thinking of yourself as a winner, as a champion. Becoming your own best friend. Catching those imposter syndrome thoughts and turning them around in your favor.

Veronica: And keeping track of your successes.

Penny: That’s it. I was in a seminar yesterday and a beautiful, young financial advisor lady said that we should have a list of accomplishments instead of a list of to-do items all of the time, and-

Veronica: A get done list.

Penny: Right. I’ve seen that as a ta-da list instead of a to-do list, you know? Where you’re like a little kid going like “Ta-da!” I do this.

Penny: But Veronica, I really wanna thank you for diving into this topic of imposter syndrome because when you said that Maya Angelou and Albert Einstein had these things, I think even just that. Recognizing that people who have done great things in the world, people who have been Nobel Prize winners and authors and people whose quotes we live by today have also had this same sense of self-doubt and self-worth, which just means it’s probably normal and maybe it’s a really good [inaudible 00:07:41] stress way of driving us forward to be better. You know?

Veronica: Absolutely. Absolutely.

Penny: Thinking that we’re it and all and everything we can be, maybe we would just be more stagnant and not push.

Veronica: Absolutely. Heres another story. Jennifer Lopez sold 70 million dollars worth of albums, and she still turned around and questioned herself as to whether she was good at what she was doing.

Veronica: So it’s … it’s something that I think we will all kind of experience at some point in time. I don’t think imposter syndrome ever goes away, but you will catch it, you will recognize it, you’ll acknowledge, “Aha, imposter syndrome, I see you. And you’re not gonna get the better of me on this one.” And just being aware of it and having some tools in your back pocket that you can use to turn it around. Because it’s all in your mind, right? Mindset.

Penny: Well and fear and insecurities are what hold us back from living into that full power and doing the greatest things we can do with our time and energy, so this is really, really helpful information.

Penny: You mentioned that you have a imposter syndrome kick-your-ass guide to recovery program coming up, and so just point us in the right direction where any listeners might wanna go and find out more information about that.

Veronica: They can connect with me on my website, on my, yeah, at 

www.empowered-solutions.ca,

or 

vhislop@sympatico.ca,

you can fire me a quick email, but either one of those ways, connect with me. You can get on the email list for the course and when it will be launched, and we have a lot more tips and tricks and tools in that course that you’re gonna kick imposter syndrome out that window. And you’ll know when it comes up and you’ll know, “Okay, I can do this to get me over this,” and move very quickly so that you get out of your own way.

Penny: What a fabulous gift that you’re bringing to the world of entrepreneurs and just so important. I do an activity on posture and it’s not a similar thing, but it is, I believe that getting rid of this imposter syndrome will help us step into a stronger posture where we can really stand in who we are, what we do, and what we have to offer and come from a stronger place.

Penny: So thank you so much for your time today Veronica, I really appreciate it and I know my listeners will as well.

Veronica: Thank you so much for having me. It’s been a pleasure.

Say "Yes to the Power of Saying "No"

The importance of establishing personal boundaries with the people in your life.

Earlier in the month of December  before all of the holiday frenzy,  I had to opportunity to have a  chat with Krisha Young on her podcast Cabernet and Kale.

Click the link below to listen as we  talk about  the power of creating healthy boundaries.

Copy/paste link attached. Enjoy

https://www.krishayoung.com/cabernet-kale-episode-023/

Lessons from Stress

  

My recent presentation on Buzztalk radio  was about my favourite topic stress and stressmanagement and the importance of self care.   See the link here.  All feedback is welcome.

https://addvoycesdigitalmediaproductions.weebly.com/buzztalk

Job Interview Stress 3 Tips to Get you Through

There is nothing more stressful than having to go to a job interview.  

You know you are qualified. You know you have the skills.  

You know you have the experience.

 But, when it is  your first job in a new country, when you are  a foreigner all of those feelings of self doubt,  feeling that your not good enough, that you don't quite cut the mustard tend to show up.  When they do it can create an enormous amount of stress.  

 Staying in the stress zone for long periods can seriously  affect your mental health and well being

.

I was happy to  participate in an interview with John Ribiero  over at Zero2Hired  during International  Mental Health Month, where I share 3 tips to help newcomers seeking employment manage  their stress, mental health and overall well-being  when  seeking employment.

Click link here to listen to

  podcast.

Let's Talk: The Secret Entrepreneurs Don't Talk About

Entrepreneurs have higher rates of mental health-related illness compared to the rest of the population at large.

Canadian research from THE MINDSET PROJECT indicates that poor mental health is the single greatest challenge facing entrepreneurs today.

We’re not just talking about stress, although stress is a part of it, we are talking about anxiety, depression and, to some extent, suicide.

With the increase in suicides amongst high-profile entrepreneurs and business men,  such as Adam Swartz (one of the co-founders of Redditt), Austin Heinz (founder and CEO of Cambrian Genomics), and Jody Sherman (of Ecomom) … the list goes on …, there has been a huge spotlight shining on the field of entrepreneurship.

When you hear someone like Tim Ferris, famous six-figure entrepreneur and best-selling author, talk about his struggles with depression, or someone like Marc Andresson of Netscape, Elon Musk of Tesla, Noah Kagen of Sumo and many others all identify their struggles with entrepreneurship and mental health, you know that we are shining the light on a hidden, taboo subject.

Breakingthesilence.co.uk founder David Beeney discussed overcoming his own anxiety and panic attacks. He was a commercial director at Auto Trader but had spent his entire career hiding his anxiety disorder before……{disclosing his secret publicly} in 2016.

According to the work of Dr Michael Freeman of the University of California in the USA, 30% of the entrepreneurs he studied in the US  faced depression.

The Mindset Project in Canada in their research has come up with similar results.

Entrepreneurs all over the world appear to be struggling with  issues pertaining to mental health and are reluctant to  talk  openly about it.

When we talk about mental health, we’re talking about our mental well-being: our emotions, our thoughts and feelings, our ability to solve problems and overcome difficulties, our social connections, and our understanding of the world around us.  Having poor mental health is associated with emotional distress and psycho-social impairment.

When the demands placed on any individual exceed their resources and coping abilities, their mental health will be negatively affected. Working long hours under difficult circumstances, is one of the many demands we place on our selves as entrepreneurs.
Other issues include:

• Poor work life balance
• Isolation
• Neglecting of health
• Overwhelm due to a constant barrage of new and changing information
• Poor sleep hygiene and not enough down-time
• Not enough support
• Too much push energy

When you are an entrepreneur, it can be as if you are dealing with a moving target - information seems to be always changing and you are always in learning mode. This constant state of learning can eventually become overwhelming.

With a new business venture or service there can be high levels of uncertainty in terms of finances and clients - there can be many factors that are out of your control, and all of which will impact your business and impact your interpersonal relationships.

So it should come as no surprise that 17% of business owners struggle with some form of anxiety disorder compared to 5% of the general public (Canadian Mental Health Association).

Depression is the most common form of mental health afflicting 16.7% of entrepreneurs  compared to 8% of the general public (CMHA).There should be no surprise here.  Entrepreneurs are notorious for working long hours and exposing themselves to relentless stress.

Why are entrepreneurs reluctant to talk about this as an issue?

This is a question asked by Camilita Nuttall in a recent interview conducted and seen on Facebook  Live (see presentation here).Interview with Camilita Nuttall Business Industry Rockstar on Mental Health and Entrepreneurship

“There is a huge amount of pressure as a founder to never show weakness and to be the cheerleader in all internal and external situations,” says Sam Altman, Y-Combinator Entrepreneur. “The world can be falling down around you — and most of the time when you’re running a company - and you have to be strong, confident, and optimistic. Failing is terrifying, and so is looking stupid.”

Entrepreneurs can have unrealistically high expectations about their abilities and business performance.  There can be a discrepancy between their expectations and the actual reality of how they and the business are performing.  It is this gap between expectations and reality that can be the root cause of entrepreneurial distress.

In addition to this, projecting confidence and being self-assured is all part of being a successful entrepreneur - tapping into our vulnerability and sharing this human aspect of ourselves about our business, even  when it is to someone we trust, can be threatening to our self-esteem and ego.

What does it take to turn the corner on this issue?


We need to make some paradigm shifts.

The most important shift is understanding this concept: Your most important asset in your business is YOU, the Entrepreneur.

Your overall well-being - your mental and physical health - is the business.  Without you, the entrepreneur, the business can only go so far.  Running on empty just doesn’t cut it.

Our health is often the first thing we sacrifice - who has time for self-care? After all, the business comes first.

But the fact is our mental health is really the first thing we have to invest in. That is how we build resilience to deal with the ups and downs of everyday life as well as the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.

Those driver traits that make a successful entrepreneur can also be the very same traits that lead to their downfall. The push-push-push energy that we extol will eventually lead to breakdown, both physical and mental, if work is not put into perspective.

What I mean by push energy is the driver mentality that we use to continuously exert ourselves, constantly doing, always in action, relentless go-go-go where we are constantly going beyond our limits. Shifting to replenish energy before things get out of control is both vital and necessary. Investing in our replenishing of energy is about restoring, refueling, and reconnecting with ourselves and our needs on a daily basis.

Some will see this as indulgent
.
The paradigm shift here is mindfulness - being mindful as to where we are in our energy and knowing when we need to be in push energy mode and knowing when we need to replenish - and taking responsibility to do so.

The third paradigm shift that we need to embrace is the concept and idea of  seeking help.  This can include connecting with and working with a coach or therapist.  Working with someone who can challenge us objectively, and keep us accountable, and who can help us to develop more self-awareness and self-compassion so that we don’t ignore the physical symptoms and warning signs that can ultimately lead to us breaking down. This is both vital and necessary to building our resilience, and strengthening our mental health and well-being if we are to stay in the entrepreneurial game.

“I’m a work in progress; I still have to be kind to myself,”   says Freelance consultant Naomi  Timperley, one of  Computer Weekly’s Most Influential Women in Tech IT 2017. “It’s okay to not be okay.  Admitting that you’re not okay is not a bad thing.”

Timperley opened up about her experiences with anxiety and depression and stressed the importance of looking after yourself  and getting help if  needed, while speaking out  at  Business Cloud’s ‘Entrepreneurs and Mental Health ' event in the UK,  April 2018..

If you’re going through difficult times as a founder or entrepreneur, know that you are not alone — and that there are others out there who are eager to listen and help.

Don’t be a statistic, one of the 36% of entrepreneurs who identified that they needed to seek help but did not do so.



Veronica Hislop is the founder of Em-Powered-Solutions Transformation Strategies where she provides workshops, presentations, 1-1 and group coaching to entrepreneurs and people in business. Her “Ninja Stress-busting” techniques help her clients to manage their stress, prioritize their needs, and set healthy boundaries in their interpersonal relationships so that they can get clear, focused and grounded in their business - thereby creating the ultimate success that they desire.
Click here to book a FREE ½ hour Power Consultation with her now:
www.empowered-solutions.ca