Creating Healthy Lines with Others

Check out my latest podcast event  Tending to  Your Garden: Creating Healthy Lines with  Kirsten Soupourmas on  her new podcast IMpower from Within. In this podcast we have a  healthy vibrant discussion about the importance and  value of  establishing boundaries  with our   family  members,  friends, work colleagues  and the people we interact with.

Here is the link to the conversation:

Tending to Your Garden: Creating Healthy Lines with Others

Creating Healthy Lines with Others

My latest podcast event was a discussion with Kirsten  Soupourmas on  her new podcast IMpower from Within. In this podcast we have a vibrant discussion about the importance and  value of  establishing boundaries  with our   family  members,  friends, work colleagues  and the people we interact with.

Here is the link to the conversation:

Tending to Your Garden Creating Healthy Lines with Others

On the Edge with April Mahoney

 Riocking with April Mahoney from On the Edge over on Blog Talk Radio
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/aprilmahoney/2019/03/15/are-you-overwhelmed-and-challenged-by-everyday-life-veronica-hislop-can-help

HOW TO AVOID BEING A DIVORCE STATISTIC THE SECOND TIME AROUND

“My partner and I are a perfect match for one another and the love between us is inspired.”

Positive Relationship Affirmation for Attracting Excellent Relationships

The above affirmation is a powerful declaration of love that most people would probably say at the beginning of a new relationship; yet the fact is, 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States end up in divorce, with the average marriage lasting for only 8 years according to The U.S. Census Bureau.  The statistics in Canada are only slightly different with the average marriage lasting for 13 years while the divorce rate hovers at 41%.  (According to Statistics Canada)

Given these facts, a wise person does not forge full STEAM ahead investing their time, energy, effort and love in a long-term relationship without taking the time to get to know their potential partner. Smart people do not sleep with or make a child with someone until they have a sense of their PPP -IQ.

What’s that you may ask?

A Personal Partner Profile:

A set of guiding principles that you use to help you decide whether or not you want to invest in a romantic long-term relationship with another person.

 

“I've attracted the most loving person in my life and life is now full of pleasure.”

Positive Relationship Affirmations for Attracting Excellent Relationships

Although affirmations are important  to keep us motivated, inspired,   positive and hopeful when attempting to discern  the potential of a long-term relationship,  getting  grounded, focused and clear  and maintaining some realm of common sense also has its’ merits.

In this world of quick relationships taking the time to get a good sense of a potential partner is powerful information that can guide how you move forward in your potential relationship.  Slowing things down is really not such a bad idea. This rings particularly true for women as our bonding hormones can sell us out if we connect and attach to someone too quickly before we really get to know them.

Here are three key areas that people need to pay particular attention to; areas that anyone can explore before hitching their wagon to someone long term. They include questions in the area of relationships: coping strategies and values. It is important to keep these questions at the forefront when thinking about the potential of a long-term partner.

1.    How does your potential partner treat the most important people in their life?

This included family of origin, children and previous relationships.

What are your potential partners pervious intimate relationship history?

 Is there someone they are still emotionally connected to?

          Are they still arguing with the ex- partner?

How your potential partner manages their emotional baggage gives you important information about how they will manage their relationship with you. If your potential partner has not resolved issues in their first relationship and does not have clear boundaries with their ex-partner or family of origin members for that matter, those issues will intrude in the new relationship and interfere in its establishment.  The new relationship may have difficulty getting itself off the ground because of past relationship unresolved issues and lack of boundaries.

2.    How does your potential partner manage their stress?

What stress management and coping skills do they have?

When, where and how do they get upset and angry?

Taking time to slow down to get a real sense of these issues is paramount.  Someone who uses marijuana, alcohol or other substances to calm themselves and relax is sending a clear   message to you about their ability to self-soothe or lack thereof.   They may have a chemical dependency or undiagnosed mental health issues - pay attention to their behaviour as this is important.

3.    Do you actually like your potential partners personality and character?

Putting aside physical attraction, and great sex, do you actually like the person that you are with as a human being?

Do you have a good sense of their beliefs and values, their overall philosophy about life; do they live in alignment with their philosophy and do you know what is important to them? Do you now their beliefs about money and how do they handle it? And finally, do you understand where they stand in terms of religion, spirituality if and how those issues are important to them.

 When we take the time to look at persons behaviour and not just listen to their words; when we take the time to see if words and behaviour are in alignment we get a sense of the persons integrity and character. Most individuals display who they are their values, characteristics, beliefs from the very beginning, ignoring these qualities, pretending they don’t exist, or even worse, knowing that they exist and thinking that you have the power to change them is just downright foolhardy.

For those people seeking to find a second-long term partner, using the Personal Partner Profile or some form of it, to help assess whether a relationship has   long term potential. not only helps the individual to stay grounded in their courting, it also helps to lessen their potential of becoming a   divorce statistic second time around.

 

“I see everything with loving eyes and I love everything that I discover.”

Positive Relationship Affirmations for Attracting Excellent Relationships

                                                                  

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International Women’s Day A Case Study in Mentoring Young Women

As International Women’s Day March 8^th approaches I am called to review the last three client testimonies that I recently received.

Normally, the clients I serve are in the over forties age group: mature women, older women, female entrepreneurs juggling with the challenges and multiples stressors of every-day life.

I’m not sure why, but for a while my client base shifted to women in their early twenties. What started out as coaching ended up as mentoring – and for me that was okay.

I have to say that I was truly humbled by this experience. Helping these young women seek, acknowledge and find, the power they had within themselves was not only a delight for me to see, that discovery, was a delight for them too.

Each week as they eagerly shared their stories, situations and circumstances with me, they demonstrated the challenges of being young women finding their way in today’s complex world.

Each time they were forced to step up and step into their power, set boundaries and limits with people in their lives, it created a snowball effect that propelled their confidence, self-esteem, self-value and self-respect.

It was a privilege for me to witness these young women embrace their own inspirational vision for their future and to explore the options, possibilities and choices available to them.

These young women were ready they were like sponges soaking up the information and resources provided, as they began to come into their own.

Here is what they had to say about their experience:

“When I started seeing Veronica, I knew I wanted to improve and heal myself but didn’t know where to start.  In the work we did together I was reminded of my self-worth and was able to begin my healing journey. “

“The number one thing I learned is to take care of myself.  True self love is about respecting yourself beyond the exterior.”

“You were the kick in the ass I needed. You challenged me to be more responsible……. I was able to see that I am not alone and that with patience I can eventually become the best version of myself.”

Working with a younger age group of women has served to remind me of the role and responsibility we older women have towards the younger female generation; the need for us to share our knowledge, experience, wisdom as women navigating the complexities of this fast pace world.

The lessons and learning from this experience have caused me to reflect on the importance of mentorship and how it is still much needed.

So, as we reach another International Women’s Day, I challenge the women of my generation to reach out and mentor a younger woman. (someone who is not your child)  Provide   some support, leadership and direction  to a young woman. It will help them to grow into the strong beautiful human beings they were meant to be; it will help us older women to grow too.

I don’t know about you but I think the world needs feminine energy right now.

So, with that being said: “Here’s to Mentoring.”

Happy International Women’s Day